


Dreaming in Red

by Altiria



Series: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Female Harry Potter, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Phobias, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27090019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altiria/pseuds/Altiria
Summary: It’s not the first time Tony wakes up and panics over that particular shade of red, nor is it the first time he’s immediately overtaken by guilt; he shouldn’t be that terrified of his wife, but he can’t quite help it when he wakes up and thinks, just for a moment, that the Scarlet Witch has finally come to finish the job.No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCOPanic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tony Stark
Series: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946422
Comments: 9
Kudos: 440
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Dreaming in Red

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this for sleep deprivation but it fit no.18 better so I swapped it. Also, I am stupidly fond of this one. 
> 
> (also for all those following this series, at the moment I'm too busy to write continuations for some of these chapters but it's not off the table. When I have more time I'd be more and happy to write part 2's for the more popular ones)

Holly entered Tony's shop with a quiet thanks to Friday. From years of practice, she walked in without a sound; Holly's shoes didn't scrap or squeak, she didn't touch anything on the way, and she waved off the bots when they noted her. Holly did all this because the typically loud shop was dead silent, and had been for quite a while. As Holly had trained the AI to do over the previous few weeks, Friday slowly reduced the shop's music when Tony had been up for too long. The AI had figured out the speed after some failures and had managed to find the right tempo to ensure Tony never realized it was happening.

The sad thing was, Jarvis wouldn't have needed to be taught, it would have already been done, and she would have been contacted the moment Tony started to droop. It was another reason that Holly would never forget and never forgive the Scarlet witch. 

When Holly found Tony, he was lulled at his desk, his head was drooping, and eyes open but fogged. Tony was a step away from passing out, and Holly knew, if she didn't move him, then he'd been in a large amount of pain from the positioning later. If not for the rather specific potions Holly intended to give him to help, his spine would probably already be done. Which after the scarlet witch, Tony was less inclined to take despite the pain he was suffering. 

If this had been a mere month ago, Holly also would have just spelled him the rest of the way into sleep and apparated them to their bedroom. But then… Ultron and Wanda happened. She couldn't do that now. 

"Tony," Holly knelt at Tony's side and peered into his eyes. "Tony, come on, I need to sleep, and you know I can't do it without you." A lie, Holly had potions that could help her, and she had used them often when Tony was off on missions or business trips. But Tony, as she'd learned, always put his needs second. So the best way to get him to do anything was to make it seem like she needed help. Hermione had found it hilarious when she'd seen it in action; Hermione had cited that Tony's saviour complex was even worse than Holly's. 

Tony's eyes cleared slowly, he blinked blearily at her- and he flinched back.

Holly recoiled, red curls swinging back as she desperately tried to smother the pained hurt from showing on her face. From showing how much she was bothered by her husband's naked fear. Holly hoped Tony had been too sleep-deprived to notice. 

She should have known better; she wasn't fast enough. 

Tony straightened on his chair, already apologizing: "Shit- Holly- I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-"

"It's fine." 

It wasn't. 

"It's not." Tony rubbed his eyes with his palms; he pressed down hard to wake himself up because he needed to have this conversation. He'd been putting it off to weeks. Weeks of work to help Sokovia establish the new Avengers, get the team up and running, and fix the problems Ultron had left in his wake. Tony had put in every effort and had avoided thinking about the way he kept flinching back from his wife. 

Holly hadn't been there when Ultron activated, nor had she been on the mission that caused Ultron. Tony hadn't blamed her for it at the time. She'd been home dealing with Andromeda, who was steadily growing worse from the dragonpox. When Tony had been placed under Wanda's magic, Holly had been rocking a sobbing Teddy to sleep. So, Holly had a perfectly good reason to have missed Ultron - which had been his fault anyway - and yet Tony's subconscious still wanted to blame her. Because if she'd been at that mission, none of this would have- but Tony was smart enough to shove it back. 

If only he could tell himself to stop flinching, to stop dreaming, to stop avoiding the woman he loved. If only he couldn't stop shrinking away from her magic, which he'd had no trouble with before. Or from the habits they'd established long before Ultron and Wanda that suddenly terrified him. I wished he'd stopped seeing Wanda in Holly all because their hair colour was similar. Dammit, he knew they were different when he was awake, Tony knew their magic didn't come from the same place, he knew the differences… and yet. 

"It's not okay." Tony pulled his hands away to look at Holly. She'd stood there, steps away to give him space, and he hated it. Hated that it made him feel better. "It's not…" 

Holly fluttered, wanting to touch him but afraid to do so. Tony had done that. Dammit- 

"Tony, you're exhausted…" Holly bit her lip, shoved back her emotions, "you should sleep… I'll… I have paperwork to do anyway, so… I'll meet you up there?" 

She wouldn't. They both knew it. Everything she was saying was a lie, a mask to make Tony feel better. 

Wonder what his therapist would say about it. 

Holly pulled back farther, curled her arms around herself to smother the hurt as she added: "Actually, I meant to tell you. Andromeda is feeling worse, so, I was thinking about-"

"Don't!" Tony lunged forward to grab Holly's hands, to stop another word from coming out of her mouth. "Don't leave me- Holly-" his mind was too fast and yet too slow; he couldn't get the words out.

Holly's eyes softened, sympathetic and kind as she always was. Sympathetic even though he was actively ruining the one good thing in his life that he had left. "I…" come on, brain! Work, work before she leaves-

"Tony." Holly stepped forward, making him realize he'd been clutching her hands with a vice-grip, that he'd been tugging her forward, toward him. 

"Don't leave me." He repeated as she returned to his side, "I… I'm working on it. I'm going to figure it out- it's just her magic- it's-" Tony had no idea what he was saying, had no idea how to communicate this even to himself. But Holly, she understood, even without the words. 

"Okay." She allowed Tony to tug her closer and closer until she was all but forehead to forehead with him. "Her magic is unknown, even to her, so… maybe it's lingering inside you." He gripped her hands, firm, a confirmation in itself. "Will you let me take you to Hannah? Maybe we can see if she left anything behind." Like they did for Clint, they'd taken him to Hannah Abbott after Loki, and she'd been able to pull blue magic from his head. It was possible that Hannah could help; unfortunately, Tony also realized Hannah would have to look inside his head to discover the truth. The idea of it… well, he suddenly understood why Natasha had needed to restrain and drug Clint for his appointment. Clint had given permission, but actually getting it done had been hard on them all, especially Clint. 

He knew Hannah though, Hannah Abbott was a friend; she was all but family to Holly through Neville. Holly had grown up knowing the woman. Her methods were tried and proven- the thought of someone else inside his head. No. Tony looked at Holly; he couldn't continue to feel fear for his wife. "You might have to tie me down… but yeah, let's do it." 

"Okay," Holly swallowed before adding in a whisper, "and… I'm going to dye my hair." 

Tony pulled away slightly with a surprised sound. Holly let him do it, but also kept a hold of his hands. 

"It's the colour, right? My hair is the same as hers, so when you're exhausted, and you see it… you're seeing her." That was accurate… but Holly loved having her mother's hair. They'd had numerous conversations about it. He couldn't let her do that- "I love you more than I like the colour Tony," she soothed, "and besides, it might be nice to match dad for a bit." She made a small curious noise, "should we try box dye at home? Or a hair-dresser?" she didn't suggest a glamour; it wasn't permanent enough for what she wanted. 

Tony swallowed past the thickness in his throat even as his eyes grew suspiciously red. He squeezed her hands in thanks before he said: "Here, definitely." 

"Alright. Let's go get some now, there's probably a store willing to open for us." 

"What happened to sleep?" Tony teased even as he allowed Holly to pull him to his feet. He had a feeling it would work, it a placebo, but it would work. Tony knew it.

"It can wait, I'm excited now." 

Translation, she wanted to sleep with him, and if the hair dye would allow that to happen, then hair dye took priority. Tony personally agreed with the thought. He'd woken too many times the last few weeks only to immediately panic when he caught sight of Holly's hair on the bed. 

"Maybe I should do blue, Teddy would love it." She might just to that; Teddy was quite upset because of Andromeda's worsening condition; the colour may cheer him up. 

"We'd have to bleach it then, wait… let me research first! Friday!"


End file.
